• Match!!@pawb.social
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    1 year ago

    not having positive preferences to look for but instead having multiple dealbreakers suggests that all women are functionally the same to you except for the ones who you think are lower quality… that is to say, you are not meaningfully valuing other people

    • pufferfisherpowder@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      My preference is women not yet blessed with children, in good shape, and not whoring themselves out on dating apps like tinder.

      It’s actually really simple to use positive language!

    • accideath@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      A reasonable argument would be because oop sees sex as something special and would like a partner that thinks of it the same way.

      In reality, oop probably thinks of woman who are on tinder as worthless sluts and doesn’t want a woman with a higher headcount than him because it bruises his ego.

      • Mossy Feathers (She/Her)@pawb.social
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        1 year ago

        I too, would be upset if my hypothetical partner had more kills than me. Excuse me, I’m the killing machine here. I’m the one who’s body is designed to rip and tear and glide through the air! You’re making me look lazy.

        How dare u!

        (I will almost always take the chance to make fun of the act of using “headcount” or “bodycount” to refer to the number of sexual partners someone has had.)

  • gcheliotis@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Well first these are the frequent talking points of incels when they harp on what they consider “low value females”. If you find yourself constantly repeating such devaluing talking points, maybe a break from the internet would do you good. Secondly, and more generally, it is usually more attractive to talk about the things you love than the things you hate. Unless you have already established that you and the other person hate the same things, then you can bond over that too.

    • Randomgal@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      This. She probably wasn’t disgusted by the content, but by the form of what he said.

    • NastyNative@mander.xyz
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      1 year ago

      Incels? there are plenty of family men that think this way. They stuck to their preferences and have a much better life for it. We shouldn’t marginalize them for it and give them names that don’t make any sense also being afraid to speak about preferences is not good.

      • gcheliotis@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Preferences are fine. It still matters how you express them. In the current zeitgeist, with inceldom being a thing, the way these preferences were expressed smacked of that. The fact that you want to defend this specific trifecta of otherwise completely unrelated preferences, claiming they lead to a better life, makes me think you might be an incel yourself, or maybe just a conservative who’s consumed a few too many such videos promoting “family values” and purporting that these are threatened by a woman’s weight, or her having to raise a child on her own, or her seeking love and attention on dating apps. Truth is these are pretty much unrelated to whether one values family and to each other. It’s just a collection of caricatures, stereotypes, and cautionary tales circulating in conservative circles. If all one can think of when asked for their preferences regarding a partner are these known talking points, it is a little suspect. FWIW, I do not think we should marginalize conservatives. But I do think we should marginalize misogyny.

        • NastyNative@mander.xyz
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          1 year ago

          How you express them is crazy lol… express them by not being afraid. Never be afraid to say them so it can be heard and respected. You talk all this inclusivity and shit on incels.

          • gcheliotis@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Hmm I am not sure I understand what you’re saying or that you understood anything I said. Maybe we are talking past each other. Nevermind, let’s forget about incels. Main point is whatever your preferences, framing them positively helps.